Y’all this past fall I learned a very valuable lesson…how to give constructive criticism. Spoiler alert…it was a lot harder than I thought it would be!
I have always viewed myself as a leader despite not being in a leadership position. I’m all about taking initiative, fostering a positive work environment, and I always try to set a good example. It hasn’t been until recently that I have acquired a small leadership position.
As many leaders, supervisors, and managers know, with a leadership position comes a variety of responsibilities. Some of those responsibilities are easier than others. As I have come to find out, giving constructive criticism is one of those responsibilities that not only am I horrible at, but I would much rather chew off my own arm than have to give it.
Let’s face it, being on the receiving end of constructive criticism isn’t great either. Do I welcome it, of course I do! I know that I’m only receiving it in order to grow as a person or an employee.
There was a point in time earlier in my career where I associated constructive criticism as if I was doing something bad…breaking the rules even. I always took it as a personal attack and would silently sit in a corner and throw myself a pity party. NOT CUTE!
Well nobody puts this boss babe in the corner! One day I had a light bulb moment followed by one of my famous pep talks basically telling myself to put my big girl panties on and boss up…the reason I am receiving constructive criticism in the first place is that my boss views potential in me and only wants to see me succeed (I mean maybe I really do suck but in my head I have convinced myself otherwise haha).
Since changing my mindset, I have allowed myself to be open to suggestions, change, and I actually welcome constructive criticism. I pretty much have a whole new outlook on things since my pep talk with myself…if you are in the market for a pep talk, call a gal up but be ready for a blunt conversation…ima give it to you straight up ?.
Anyway, as I traveled along this self-exploration leadership journey, I picked up on a few valuable lessons about giving constructive criticism. Is this newfound responsibility a work in progress…HELL YES IT IS. Will it be easier over time…who knows but stick around to find out what you need to know about giving constructive criticism.
Things to Consider when Providing Constructive Criticism:
Know what Constructive Criticism Looks Like
Constructive criticism should be the following four things:
Specific: It highlights an area that needs improvement with concrete examples to back up your concern.
Actionable: It points out something that needs to be worked on – examples could include a need to proof-read reports before submitting them for tech review, refraining from using “like” every other word, or time management skills.
Significant: It suggests that with time and effort, personal growth will happen.
Helpful: It provides the framework for improvement.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
A conversation like this is a two-way conversation. In order to avoid the immediate defense walls that automatically go up, make the conversation relatable.
Provide examples from your own life about similar situations and how you benefitted from making improvements. This will help that person not feel so isolated and remind them that hey, you are a human too!
Ask questions! Instead of being blunt and posting their weakness on a billboard, ask them “What areas do you think you could improve upon?” This approach not only engages them in the feedback process but shows them that you really do care about them as a person or employee.
Going this extra mile with someone will foster an environment for growth and development!
Take Your Emotions out of the Situation
No matter how you feel about the person you are giving constructive criticism to, it is crucial you aren’t attacking them. Period. It may be difficult to take your emotions out of the equation but who are you serving by providing destructive criticism. You are in a leadership role for a reason, act like it!
Even the Playing Field
No one is perfect! While giving constructive criticism this is the perfect opportunity to look at yourself in the mirror and do some personal reflection.
I once had a boss tell me that I used “like” as a filler word too often and she was worried about how that would affect the significance of my testimony in an upcoming moot court.
To make working on this area of concern more fun, she told me that I would have to put a quarter in a piggy bank every time I said the word “like” or if my co-workers heard me say it in conversation.
To even the playing field, she offered me the opportunity to come up with something I thought she needed to work on. Because I wanted to get to know her better, I suggested she tell me one fact about her a day for a month…it could be anything she wanted me to know.
A conversation that revolved around constructive criticism had such a profound effect on me and my life. I respected her (and still do) as such an incredible boss and leader. She really took the time to make working on a weakness something I would enjoy and benefit from.
And yes…she gave me the piggy bank back and I hit the jackpot! Cleary ya girl had a problem ??.
Also, do not take it personally if the person you are trying to help fails to show any improvement. You could provide someone with every opportunity to succeed, but it’s up to them to put in the time and effort to do so! That little lesson took me the longest to learn!
Comment below on any tips you have for providing constructive criticism and follow all of The Proper Seals adventures at @theproperseal.
